For My Sons

  My red pocket notebook which was discovered in the wrecked car in which I had the near-death experience. As a father, I want to pass down the most important and relevant lessons to my children that I can, from my own experiences. So, I should begin with the most life-altering lesson I have to offer, the lesson of mortality. Truly knowing your life has a limited span, understanding we are mortal, has a profound effect on a person's life. As a young person, we know that we will eventually die. No human being is immortal.  Not knowing when our time will be up, we only have the context of the number of years we have already lived. A fifteen-year-old may believe that he or she will live another fifty or sixty years. From  the teenager's perspective, those fifteen years he has experienced seemed like an eternity. However from the point of view of a sixty-five-year-old man, if he believes he will live up to another ten years, those ten years seem much too short of a period of time.

Three sons born to the same family can be as different as night and day. It's fascinating to think that, even with the same parents and a shared environment, there can be contrasting differences. Since there seems to be an inherently negative perception of people who are "different," it is best to use the word, "unique." My three sons may have their unique qualities, but there are also commonalities that can be traced to their shared experiences. All three are intelligent and creative young men who have a sense of compassion. With all of our travels in Taiwan and beyond, they share a love for travel and exploration of new experiences. We raised them to see the entire world as their "back yard." What makes my sons UNIQUE? I will answer that question using the language of possibility and from the future point of view. JOHAN - What can I say about Johan? He was the first child, the one who forced me to reconsider my priorities. After my marriage, when I f

When my first son was born in 2001, I had no idea how much one person could transform my life. Even though I had nine months to prepare, I didn't feel ready for this BIG change. I was married in August 2000, and I didn't plan to have any children so soon. I wanted to spend more time getting to know my wife, planning our future, and traveling around the USA before raising a family. But life doesn't usually go as planned. I admit I was nervous about the uncertain future for the newly-arrived bundle of responsibility. I nervously clipped the slimy bluish-white umbilical cord with the surgical scissors, separating one life from another, leaving a fragile, vulnerable, and dependent human being in the care of his parents. I wondered if I could truly "hack it" as a dad. Did I learn enough to handle fatherhood? Would I make the right choices? Would I have the space in my heart to make large sacrifices for him? As I held my son in my arms for the first time in the delivery

When faced with one's own mortality, one may reassess your choices and re-orient your priorities. Personally, I recently faced my mortality and my thought dwelled on my children. Had I done enough as a father? What did I want to leave behind for them? I don't even know if I have anything worth putting in a will. I decided that I would impart words and experiences for them to learn from, and I can only hope that they take the time to read what I leave behind for them. I hope that it helps them in some way. If anyone else stumbles upon this blog and finds the advice and information useful, then I will consider this investment of time worth the effort.